Your dad kept out hater rays with big shades before you did and he&rsquo;s got the oversized eye socket tan lines to prove it. His beta-blockers let his wandering eyes cruise the beach scenery undetected. Like the dirty Prince of Summer, he set his lady lookers to chest level and grabbed eyefuls of apple bottoms. He knew he couldn&rsquo;t stop his instinctual stares, so he concealed them with smoked out lenses.

So hipsters, when you&rsquo;re putting on your plastic framed glass sun block to protect blood shot hung over eyes from the bright evil rays of the sun, remember this&hellip;

Your dad knew big sunglasses really protected his face from open handed offended slaps.

Big thanks to my friend Eric for submitting his awesome dad Jerry.